When your bff gets a new bf

New relationships are nauseating. Truly. Admit it, you’ve let out the classic “Ugh, you two are disgusting” when you see two lovebirds post stupid, sappy shit on eachothers Facebook walls, or put up matching profile pictures. If you’re truly honest with yourself I guarantee you can remember one of YOUR past relationships and think “Ew, we were that couple that annoyed everyone.” It happens.

But this nausea is magnified by 1000 when your best friend gets in to a new relationship. Don’t get me wrong, you’re always super excited at first, although slightly worried and still over protective. You happily listen to all the little details from her last date, laugh and squeal in excitement with her, and you even give this new fling some great advice on how to impress her or deal with her anxiety. You just want her to be happy. You all hang out together and you love being the third wheel because you get to be with her and this new guy who seems to be the greatest thing ever. But then it happens….

She just disappears from your life and forgets you exist.

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After a few weeks, it seems like they intentionally leave you out of ALL their outings. You never receive invitations anymore. Of course you don’t want to go everywhere with them! They need space and so do you! But meanwhile she’s only 3 miles down the road with him and you had no idea and no one cared to reach out even though it has been weeks since you’ve seen her. And when you are blessed with her presence, HE IS ALWAYS THERE. They have their own inside jokes and funny stories. You try to assert your role and dominance as best friend by bringing up a joke only she’d get, but your words constantly go unnoticed. And when you get sassy, you get accused of being jealous.

You are certainly not jealous. Are you jealous? No, you just miss her company or some shred of attention you used to receive. Okay maybe it could be jealousy. Or it could just be hurt feelings since you don’t matter AT ALL anymore.

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You start to resent the new boyfriend because it feels like he’s completely taken your bff away from you. She may be blinded by obsession but damn it why doesn’t he say something like “Hey, you should go see so-and-so for lunch today, I have some errands to run anyway.” Nope, their glued to the freaking hip because he sucks.

Your long texting convos are extinct now. The texts she does send to you (usually only responses to you texting her since you don’t get first texts anymore) are short and slightly distanced because she is obviously texting him at the same time….and he’s obviously more important.

Since you’re seemingly not as close (or as important) and you never talk (because she’s always talking to him), it feels like you don’t even know her anymore or whatever happens in her life despite you trying.

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Naturally you eventually snap and say something sly again but this time it will end with a petty argument where mean things are said for no reason. You aggressively question her loyalty to you and then accuse her of getting attached too fast…like she usually does. You’re truly concern but you’re also super annoyed so things come out sounding way worse than you meant them to. She gets defensive and lashes out with shitty comments usually about some shit you did like 4 years ago, or she criticizes something you do that normally would never bother her if she weren’t pissed now.

After the fight you definitely aren’t talking and if you do, it’s obvious there is still tension. The simplest of conversations are cold, defensive and impersonal. You try to suggest getting together but she makes up 100 excuses on why she’s too busy to meet up. You never like fighting with her. You feel like shit and wonder if she does too. But you continue on acting as if you don’t give a fuck because she doesn’t seem to give a fuck.

Then the guilt sets in. It’s not like you don’t want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy! And this new guy makes her happy! You just miss when you were part of her happiness. The guilt gnaws at you as you realize you really are just jealous. He doesn’t suck….as a person. He’s actually a nice guy who is doing a good job of being her boyfriend. But he does suck because he stole her away.

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New relationships are nauseating.

Everyone hates those overly-attached new couples in their honeymoon phase. And you can always tell shit is getting serious in the relationship when she creates a wedding and/or ring board on Pinterest.

It’s fun to be absolutely infatuated with someone and have that feeling returned. How many times do you get to feel that way?! But for those of us pushed to the back burner, just remember THE PHASE ALWAYS ENDS! The nauseating new couple shit will come to an end and real life will resume. You haven’t lost her completely and when this new guys starts feeling more habitual and less like new candy, she will love you as much as she always has. Things go back to normal even if you have to share her. But hey, at least you’re sharing and not entirely shunned anymore! You stay at her house one weekend and another weekend she may be shoved up his butt and not talk to you. But it’s BALANCE.

It’s hard to keep your emotions in check when your bff gets a new bf. Jealousy is normal especially if you’re used to being inseparable with her. But don’t take your jealousy out on her. Being angry or clingy is only going to make her more defensive and push her away. She has no freaking idea how stupid she is being. I mean, we’ve all been in a new relationship and basically fell off the planet with no shame. I didn’t realize how stupid I was being in my last ‘honeymoon phase’ until things got back to normal. Don’t let the honeymoon phases ruin friendships.

As much as it sucks, you have to back off and just let her be stupidly obsessed with her new fling. Don’t accept defeat and leave the picture all together though! Always continue to text her and attempt to make plans you know will get turned down. She needs to know you’re still there so when the phase ends, she can jump right back into best friend role. But no one is saying you can’t still roll your eyes and exclaim your disgust when they post their stupid, sappy shit on Facebook.

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Playing Catch Up

It has been quite a while since I have posted ( bad blogger! ) but I do intend to fill you all in on what has been going on!

So the last time I did a ‘life update’ blog post, Jacob and I had just closed on our new house and started working on some priority projects. Jacob’s parents came by for a visit and since Jake’s dad is a general contractor with 40+ years experience, he started helping us with some of the more daunting projects like painting, moving outlets and removing a terribly awkward built-in entertainment center that was too small for our TV anyway.

See how awkward and unbalanced it made the wall look?

See how awkward and unbalanced it made the wall look?

Check out what an amazing difference it made!

Awkward unbalanced beast be gone!

Awkward unbalanced beast be gone!

Now I just have to reface our gas fireplace to make it look like it actually belongs there and we’ll really be getting somewhere! Another thing we wanted to do asap was remove the fluorescent light in our kitchen. We could have done it on our own, but Jake’s dad was more than happy to go ahead and knock it off the to-do list while he was here. I made a simple tutorial here if you’d like to see how easy it is to replace those horrid lights!

It wasn’t all work during their visit though. We took an evening and went to Cripple Creek, CO and walked around the casinos. Cripple Creek is a teeny little town, but used to be home to tens of thousands of men in the mountains for the gold rush! There is a ton of history in this adorable town (with an incredibly scenic drive through the mountain to get there). I would like to go back to that town during the day and see some of the shops. I loved how small it was and how on a Saturday night in the winter, there were NO crowds at all. Very little people…just how I like it lol

Because it was night-time, I could not take a good picture of the main strip, but I did take a picture of my favorite casino- The Brass Ass!

Because it was night-time, I could not take a good picture of the main strip, but I did take a picture of my favorite casino- The Brass Ass!

We also took a 20 minute drive to show the in-laws Manitou Springs, CO. It is an equally adorable town with a lot of charm and history. It has been converted recently to be more “touristy” but the mom and pop restaurants are still fun and the eclectic shops are still attention-grabbing. We ate at a Polish place and then walked through the shops. I hope his parents come back in the summer so we can explore the outdoor fun in Manitou. Healing mineral springs, lots of hiking, cog railways, artisan communities, etc. Even on a cold and gloomy day, the main strip is still beautiful.

Heading into the main strip. See that white strip on the mountain? That's the Incline covered in snow- an incredible hiking trail gaining 2000ft of elevation in only 3/4 of a mile. In the early 1900s, it was a cable tram to bring people and supplies up the mountain but was too costly to maintain.

Heading into the main strip. See that white strip on the mountain? That’s the Incline covered in snow- an incredible hiking trail gaining 2000ft of elevation in only 3/4 of a mile. In the early 1900s, it was a cable tram to bring people and supplies up the mountain but was too costly to maintain.

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Manitou is also home of the North Pole and Santa's Workshop- another touristy thing here. In the far left, you can see half of Jacob's dad's face lol

Manitou is also home of the North Pole and Santa’s Workshop- another touristy thing here. In the far left, you can see half of Jacob’s dad’s face lol

Jake’s parents left shortly before Christmas to try and beat the weather that was heading in again. Jacob and I spent Christmas day at a friend’s house- another pot luck style holiday for everyone who didn’t use up their leave to go back home. We cooked a big ham dinner and all bought each other gifts. It felt really nice to have a real Christmas get-together with friends. Jake and I didn’t do much else as far as a personal Christmas together other than spend the morning together. I got him a really nice electric shaver and he got me a Vitamix! I am so incredibly thrilled to finally have one of these machines after months of wanting one and trying to convince myself it was worth the money. Now that I have one, I know 100% it is DEFINITELY worth the money. No more chunks in my green smoothies. I’ve already used it to chop veggies and make ice cream, and I plan to make soup in it this weekend! I’m compiling a list of successful recipes which I will be posting shortly! 🙂

My new Vitamix! Along with a smoothie of spinach, orange, banana, strawberry, pineapple and flax seed.

My new Vitamix! Along with a smoothie of spinach, orange, banana, strawberry, pineapple and flax seed.

New Year’s came and went. No real resolutions for us but I do have a personal goal of learning how to knit (simple, I know but I’ve been putting it off too long). Then Jacob had to leave for pre-deployment training shortly after the new year began and since then I have had too much alone time and when I am alone ALL I do is think. Therefore, the house is getting redecorated! Haha I just can’t be left alone. I have already bought a new couch (we we’re planning on doing that anyway, so that’s not so bad is it?), built custom curtain rods, bought new curtains and have made incredibly detailed plans on how to refinish my dining room table. I also am planning on building new living room tables, make that mason jar project I’ve been meaning to show y’all, get started on my laundry room makeover and about 10 other things. Sounds like a lot to do when I work 40 hour weeks, but I have also made a schedule on when and how to do these tasks and in what order. (Hey at least I’m waiting until Spring to refinish my kitchen cabinets, put crown molding on the first level, make the second floor guest bathroom all spiffy and landscape the backyard…I’m not a crazy lady tackling everything at once after all lol)

All of this while also going back to school! No, I’m not getting my Masters yet 😦 but my job is paying for me to enroll part-time at an online college to get a certificate in GIS (Geographic Information Systems). It’s basically learning a computer program that allows people to work with data pertaining to maps and other spatial data. Sounds super complicated because I guess it kind of is, but GIS can be used for land use planning, environmental management, business marketing, foresty services, law enforcement, wildlife range analysis, topographical map making, etc. The software and concepts are used a lot in my current job because we need to make a lot of maps and analyze data regarding land use and management. BUT I can also use the skills in a lot of other career choices later on, even my future wildlife management career. And it isn’t going to cost me a dime so alone is extremely exciting lol

Well I’m off to go hang my curtain rods. I will likely post a house reveal when I get the living room mostly done as well as a few tutorials on how to make the curtain rods, refinish the table, etc. Thanks for reading!

Home Sweet Home

I am a little late on this post but I promise it is not my fault! As you may know, Jacob and I have been in the process of buying our first house! We were supposed to close on the 5th but a series of events on the owners side of things prevented that. Closing was delayed until the 12th and SUCCESS we finally got the house! Many of you have been waiting so patiently to see the place and I will finally allow some peaking!

**PHOTO DUMP**

Here is our new beauty. SO perfect!

Here is our new beauty. SO perfect!

Standing in the kitchen looking into the dining/living room combination. Prepped for painting.

Standing in the kitchen looking into the dining/living room combination. Prepped for painting.

In the far corner of the living room looking towards the dining and kitchen area.

In the far corner of the living room looking towards the dining and kitchen area.

Standing at the top of the stairs looking down to the first level. Visible door is coat closet, front door to the right of that.

Standing at the top of the stairs looking down to the first level. Visible door is coat closet, front door to the right of that.

I’d love to show you more pictures, but that will have to wait just a wee bit longer because as you can see there is still much to do and quite a bit to change as well. So Friday the 12th, we took possession and started making a to-do list. But it feels like there just isn’t enough time to get anything done. I’m sure many of you hard-working folks agree that weekends are just too short! We managed to paint part of the main room and moved a small load over Saturday but it was a long day of what feels like little progress. We wanted to move all the furniture and essentials Sunday and even had the volunteers to help….but this happened…

All of that blue on the radar is snow...

All of that blue on the radar is snow…

But for some weird reason, the news likes to LIE! It barely flurried until noon-ish but stayed dark and cloudy so we decided to just bite the bullet and delay moving. But around 330, it was clear and sunny with only some minor wind to inconvenience us. I was so anxious to get started but it was just too late to start moving anything important. We will have to move some Monday after work, a little more Tuesday after work, and hopefully the rest Wednesday after work because Jacob’s parents come for a visit on Thursday! I’m really excited to see them (unlike many spouses, I adore my in-laws lol) and I’m also really excited because they decided to drive here so they can bring our tools to our new house! Hopefully next weekend I can start on that project I showed y’all a sneak peak of last time!

I just have a bad feeling this is going to be the slowest process ever. Not only could we not move in this weekend but other things seem to be delaying the final “settling in” process. Example: because we couldn’t move anything serious today, we went to a few furniture stores to find a new living room set. We found a sectional, which surprised me because I really didn’t want one but I think I love it! However….part of it is backordered until the 26th and another part is backordered until January. *sigh*

We will just have to kind of go with the flow with all of this. Our apartment lease isn’t up until mid-January so there is time. Jacob’s dad is a general contractor who has built hundreds of houses so he is going to help with our to-do list items when he is here. Jacob’s mom did interior designing for the company so she can help me pick out rugs (it took me 4 months to choose lamps…I’m definitely going to need some help with rugs lol). We will get it all moved, fixed up and settled before too long.

I’ll be back next week to share about moving, my in-laws visit, our mini-renovations (with potential DIY directions!) and more.

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ps side note: if anyone in the Colorado Springs or Fountain area wants to learn more about buying a home or get the process started, contact Chuck Birger! He is an amazing realtor who made everything so easy to understand and really exhibited such patience with us. We really enjoyed working with him.

Great Friends, Full Bellies and Big Plans

So it has been two weeks since my first post and since then I have felt forced to venture deep into the baffling question of “Do I have anything blog-worthy to write about today?” Well today I finally realized some big stuff happened in my life recently! WARNING- this post is a little long winded….so I shall not dilly daddle and get right to it!

*Fun story that doesn’t relate to much but must be shared: The week before Thanksgiving, I was at work patiently awaiting the long break. Fortunately, the temperatures had steadied in the 30s, and in Colorado that is actually pretty warm during the day (I still don’t fully understand this state, because 30* in Florida is some hardcore ‘we’re not doing a darn thing outdoors today’ kind of weather). But because it was warm, we actually got to get out of the office and drive around down in the training areas. When we get the opportunity, we drive into areas where there is no live firing or training and just look around for safety hazards, areas that need re-vegetating or (more likely) just drive around killin’ time. Most of that week was spent parked downrange where I enjoyed a lively show put on by our chubby little plague carriers- Prairie Dogs! …literally, they have the plague, don’t touch them! But they are FASCINATING! Observing their communication habits alone was enough to keep me interested for a while. **side note- the wildlife guys tried to lessen their numbers by putting poison in the burrows and burying them…well the other chunk butts came and dug their friends out. Like I said, fascinating!**

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Finally Wednesday came and we all got to leave work early! I normally work 0630 to 1630 but I got to leave the office at 10! Good timing too because Jake’s company/platoon/whatever was having their annual Turkey Bowl that morning and families were invited. Jacob is still broken from a knee injury he made 10x worse in April so he got out of playing, but there was free food and lots of friends. And while I’m sure you could care less, I just wanted the chance to share the beautiful view.

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Photo Credit to my lovely friend Denise

Finally…THANKSGIVING DAY! We were invited to a Thanksgiving potluck with a lot of people Jake works with. This turned out to be super convenient because I have found over the years, there is no point in cooking a huge traditional dinner when there are only two people to enjoy it. For this potluck, I made mashed potatoes and gravy from scratch (ensuring I put lots of Everglades seasoning in the mix to make the fellow Floridians miss home) as well as mini pumpkin pies! For those of you on Pinterest, I’m sure you’ve seen them, if not, click here! They were awesome.

We did not go anywhere at 4am on black Friday, but we did load up with friends later in the day and took a trip to numerous stores including Bass Pro where I got Jacob a new compound bow- kind of early Christmas I guess! *check back later for archery shenanigans*  We also went to Cabela’s where I saw this gravity defying mountain lion mount and begged Jake for probably 10 minutes to pose for this picture….enjoy peeps, this took a lot of work haha

He can be so difficult sometimes...but I got the picture!

He can be so difficult sometimes…but I got the picture!

THEN came the big money! The house we are buying will not include a washer & dryer, and those aren’t easy to live without soooo, with twisted arms, we looked to buying a set. I’m not fond of washing my clothes in a vessel that has held strangers dirty linens so new it had to be. Luckily, the home improvement stores have black Friday sales all week so we went to Home Depot and (after momentarily feeling great disappointment because the red ones weren’t available) we fell in love with a wonderful Samsung set! I guess this is adulthood huh?….getting excited about a new washer & dryer…. Never the less, we saved almost $800 with black Friday deals! Part of being a responsible, grown-up adult is budgeting finances so we timed it right and instead of enjoying Starbucks and new clothes the past few weeks (like I wanted to), we prepared for the purchase and paid for them in full! I only mention that because I am super duper proud of myself haha no financing over here!  **check back later for the laundry room make-over!**

So after four and a half days of a wonderfully long too short break, I am back at work prowling for coyotes instead of prairie dogs this week. Thanks for reading!

Sneak peak of the next post…

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Can you guess what I am planning?

 Also, tune in this weekend to see the new home! If the rest of the paperwork goes smoothly, we close on Friday!